Two Months Overdue

In New Delhi, Mr. Sharma comes homes one night,
and his wife throws her
arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a
month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we
find out for sure, we can't tell anybody".

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone
call from DEB (Delhi
Electric Board) because the electricity bill has
not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs Sharma?

"Yes.....speaking"
DEB Guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, maam, it's in our
files!" says the DEB guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your
files....HOW????

"Yes.... we have a system of finding out who's
overdue"

"Oh my Goodness!!!!! This is too much....."
"Madam, I am sorry..... I am following orders. I
have to inform you
are overdue.
I know that.... Let me talk to my husband about
this tonight. He will
speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call,
and he, mad as a
bull, rushes to the DEB office the next morning.
"What's going on? You have it on your file that
my wife is one month overdue? "What business is that of yours?" the
husband shouts.

"Just calm down, "says the lady at the reception
at DEB, "it's nothing
serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but
to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband
asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a
candle!"

Sent via email by Freddie Cang


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Four Women in Discussion

Even if you didn't grow up a Catholic, you'll appreciate this one......

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,discussing how
important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a
priest. When he walks into a room everyone calls him "Father.

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop.
Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Grace".

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down,
but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your
Eminence".

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well hung, male stripper.

Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "Oh! My God!"

(Adapted from Send It Out Newsletter).

The Importance of Honesty

ONE DAY, WHEN A SEAMSTRESS WAS SEWING WHILE SITTING CLOSE TO A RIVER,
HER THIMBLE FELL INTO THE RIVER.
WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD APPEARED AND ASKED, "MY DEAR CHILD,
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"
THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED THAT HER THIMBLE HAD FALLEN INTO THE WATER AND
THAT SHE NEEDED IT TO HELP HER HUSBAND IN MAKING A LIVING FOR THEIR
FAMILY.
THE LORD DIPPED HIS HAND INTO THE WATER AND PULLED UP A GOLDEN
THIMBLE SET WITH PEARLS. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED.
THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO."
THE LORD AGAIN DIPPED INTO THE RIVER. HE HELD OUT A SILVER THIMBLE
RINGED WITH SAPPHIRES. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED AGAIN, THE
SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO."
THE LORD REACHED DOWN AGAIN AND CAME UP WITH A LEATHER THIMBLE.
"IS THIS Y OUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED.
THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "YES."
THE LORD WAS PLEASED WITH THE WOMAN'S HONESTY AND GAVE HER ALL THREE
THIMBLES TO KEEP, AND THE SEAMSTRESS WENT HOME HAPPY.
SOME YEARS LATER, THE SEAMSTRESS WAS WALKING WITH HER HUSBAND ALONG THE
RIVERBANK, AND HER HUSBAND FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DISAPPEARED UNDER
THE WATER.
WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD AGAIN APPEARED AND ASKED HER, "WHY ARE YOU

CRYING?"
"OH LORD, MY HUSBAND HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER!"
THE LORD WENT DOWN INTO THE WATER AN! D CAME U P WITH GEORGE CLOONEY .
"IS THIS YOUR HUSBAND?" THE LORD ASKED.
"YES," CRIED THE SEAMSTRESS.
THE LORD WAS FURIOUS. "YOU LIED! THAT IS AN UNTRUTH!
THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "OH, FORGIVE ME, MY LORD. IT IS A
MISUNDERSTANDING. YOU SEE, IF I HAD SAID 'NO' TO GEORGE CLOONEY, YOU
WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH BRAD PITT. THEN IF I SAID 'NO' TO HIM, YOU WOULD
HAVE

COME UP WITH MY HUSBAND. HAD I THEN SAID 'YES,' YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME
ALL THREE.
LORD, I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH AND WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE
OF ALL THREE HUSBANDS, SO THAT'S WHY I SAID 'YES' TO GEORGE CLOONEY."
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS:
WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD AND HONORABLE REASON, AND IN THE
BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS.
THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT

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