Jokes

"Hello Colin, what are you doing riding around on that woman's bicycle?"

"Well it's a long story," replied Desmond. "I was on my way into town when
this lady pases me on a bicycle. She stops, waits for me to catch up, gives me
a kiss and then takes her clothes off!"

"You can have anything you want," she says, so I took the bicycle... Well I'm not a pervert, I don't wear women's clothes."

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I'm getting a divorce," said Jack to his mate, Bill. "The wife hasn't spoken to me for six months."

Bill thought about this for a moment and then replied, "Just make sure you know what you're doing, Jack. Wives like that are hard to find".

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''Oh Tracy, I love you," he whispered. "Please tell me there's no one else in your life."

"Of course, there's no one else. Do you think I'd go to the cinema with you if there were someone else?" she replied.
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If only the young man had been more sexually experienced! When she asked him if he fancied something from the Karma Sutra, he replied, "Thanks, but not for me. Indian food has me on the toilet all night."
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A rather shy young man went along to the village dance and met up with a rather pretty girl His chat up lines were sadyly lacking, so in blind panic, he said the only thing he could think of.
"You're scottish, aren't you?"
"Ay, I am, how did ye know that?"
"It's the way you roll your R's."
"Oh no," she said. "It's these high-heeled shoes that do that."
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"I love you very much," said the ardent young lover. "I may not have much money like my mate, Martin. I may not have a sports car or a cottage in the country like him. But I love you with all my heart and everything I have is yours."

"Very nice, she replied, preoccupied, "but just tell me a little more about Martin."
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Overheard in a parked car down lovers lane:
"Suck, Beryl, suck.... blow is just a figure of speech."
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He has such a bad memory that the only thing that stays in his head for more than 12 hours is a cold.
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What are the signs of growing older?
At the beginning it is tri-weekly; then 20 years later, it is try weekly, but after 65 it is try weakly,
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